You have to let go of the resistance.

Your life will get so much better when you learn to accept where you’re at — in order to change.

It sounds counterintuitive. And it’s something I genuinely struggled with my entire life.

But lately, it’s finally starting to click.

You have to first accept where you are.

Take whatever your circumstances are, accept them, be okay with them — and only then can you move forward toward the life you want.

This doesn’t mean you’re happy with where you’re at. If you want to change your life, chances are, you aren’t. You have an idea of who you want to be, where you want to live, what job you want to do — and it all feels far away. You’re frustrated. You’re stuck. It’s impossible to feel content with any of it.

So how do you accept it?

Here’s what I’ve learned:

It’s not necessarily about accepting it.

It’s about no longer resisting it.

When we resist, I always picture it like this:

We jump into a frozen lake and try to warm it up by swimming around in it.

We kick and splash and thrash — but the water stays cold, icy, and completely unbothered.

All we do is exhaust ourselves.

That’s what happens when we fight our circumstances.

When we resist the hand we’ve been dealt, we end up pouring all our energy into the wrong thing.

And it doesn’t have to be a major life event.

Resistance shows up in everyday moments.

Let’s say you’re waiting for an elevator that’s taking forever. You’re already late. You’re tapping the button over and over again, but it’s busy, slow, and making stops on every floor. You board the elevator already frustrated, and each additional stop makes it worse.

Same thing happens to me on the subway.

I can’t tell you how often the train is delayed only when I’m running late. Most of the time it’s on time, uneventful, smooth. But the moment I have something important — a race, a meeting, an event I can’t miss — something always goes wrong. The train stalls in the tunnel. Or they empty the car and make us switch trains. Or someone holds the doors and it causes a cascade of delays.

All of it? Completely out of my control.

And yet — it’s so easy to take it personally.

Like the universe is conspiring against you.

As if these delays are happening to you and only you.

But our brains are just doing what they do.

We live inside our own minds. So of course it feels personal. Of course it feels targeted.

But it’s not.

Our brains crave order, predictability, understanding. So when life doesn’t go the way we planned, we throw a little tantrum. We resist. We grasp for control. We feel wronged.

But what if we didn’t do any of that?

What if we just… accepted it?

A late subway is just a late subway.

A slow elevator is just a busy elevator.

A sick family member is just someone who needs care.

These things don’t mean anything. They just are.

Instead of asking “Why me?”

Ask: “What now?”

In that simple two-word question, you shift everything.

1. You acknowledge reality. You’re not resisting what’s happening. You’re not making it personal. You’re not letting ego hijack the moment. You’re just observing.

2. You ask yourself what to do next. Given the situation as it is, what are your options?

The subway is stuck? Maybe there’s another line. Maybe you grab a taxi.

The elevator is slow? Maybe you take the stairs.

You’re not making the delay mean something about you. You’re just adapting. You’re choosing your next move.

And sometimes?

There is no next move.

Sometimes you’re just stuck. And that’s that.

Even then — you can let go of the resistance.

You’ll deal with the consequences later. You’ll figure it out. But for now, you’ve accepted the moment for what it is. You’ve stopped wasting energy on frustration.

When you stop labeling everything as a personal attack…

When you stop trying to force life to follow your plan…

You become free.

You start to see life as weather.

Some days are sunny. Some days stormy.

Neither one lasts forever.

You learn to adapt.

To respond, not react.

To move forward, not spiral.

Letting go is about releasing the resistance to your circumstances.

Things rarely go the way we want them to. And that’s not personal. That’s just life.

When you truly accept that, everything shifts.

Little things — like a delayed train — stop bothering you.

Big things — like life upheavals — feel more workable.

You still feel things. You still get upset. This isn’t about toxic positivity.

It’s about this:

Here’s a personal example.

When I gained a lot of weight — about 30 pounds — I was so frustrated. I kept asking, How did I let this happen?

It wasn’t overnight. It was two years of small decisions.

One day I stepped on the scale and saw a number I never thought I’d see.

I hated how I felt. I hated my body. I hated the version of me who let it get to this point.

But all that resistance? All that shame?

It just made things worse.

I kept spiraling. I kept making the same choices.

I thought, What’s the point?

The shift happened when I stopped fighting it.

When I said, This is where I am.

And, That version of me did the best he could.

It was the early pandemic. Life was chaotic, scary, and stressful — especially in NYC.

So I coped with food and stillness. And that’s okay.

I gave myself grace.

I accepted reality.

And then I got to work.

Not out of shame, but out of self-respect.

Not in a frantic rush, but with long-term commitment.

I made new choices.

Small ones. Sustainable ones.

And now?

I’m back to a weight I haven’t been at since college.

I feel strong, clear, grounded.

But it only happened because I stopped resisting the starting point.

I accepted where I was.

And I asked myself: What now?

That’s how change happens.

That’s how you move forward.

Let go of what you wished had happened.

Focus on what is.

And take action from there.