A lot of self-development stuff is kind of annoying, isn’t it?
Over the last couple of years, I’ve consumed everything under the sun. You know those displays at Barnes & Noble where they lay out all the personal development books you’re “supposed” to read? Yeah — I’ve read nearly every one. There might be a book or two I skipped, but only because the sample didn’t click with me.
And honestly? A lot of them drove me nuts.
Because what works for someone else doesn’t mean it’s going to work for me. I mean, it’s right there in the name: personal development. It’s personal. What works for someone at their age, with their lifestyle, in their environment, might have no chance of working for me.
And yet I was supposed to follow their strategies like a blueprint?
That’s the thing. Personal development isn’t like strength training. There’s no universal plan you can follow. You can’t just do the same reps and expect the same results. You can’t copy someone’s morning routine and expect their success to show up in your life like clockwork.
But I kept trying.
I spent weeks forcing myself into the “5AM Club.” I followed the book to the letter: wake up, do the hour of productivity rituals, etc. And parts of it were fine. I still wake up early now — usually 5:30 or 6 — but I’ve ditched the rest of it because it didn’t work for me.
I tried to Goggins my way through life, too. Push through pain. No excuses. Be aggressive with yourself. Don’t let up or you’ll fail.
But instead of becoming a success story, I just became… exhausted. I bounced from one strategy to the next, wondering why none of them worked for me.
Was I the problem?
If these systems worked for them, and not for me, did that mean something was wrong with me?
That’s the trap I fell into. The unintended consequence of so many books, threads, reels, and TikToks trying to sell you their method for success: I ended up feeling like a failure.
I developed myself into a hole — one where I believed I would never get out, because nothing seemed to work.
Until I remembered something simple, but powerful: I’m me. Not them.
Our lives might look similar on paper, but we’re not the same. Our experiences, our pain, our joy, our energy, our environment — it’s all uniquely ours. We each carry a perspective no one else can fully replicate.
And that’s when it hit me: these books aren’t meant to be recipes. They’re meant to be proof of possibility.
That’s the real gift they offer.
They show us that change is possible. They tell stories of people who were lost, frustrated, anxious, unhealthy — and who turned their lives around.
Not so we can follow their exact steps. But so we can believe that it’s possible for us, too.
Because that’s the one universal thing every self-development book has in common: change.
They changed their lives. They committed to a different path. And now you’re reading their book, or following their story, because they made it to the other side.
That’s what I hold onto.
If you’re stuck, if you’re frustrated, if you feel like nothing’s working — you’re not failing. You’re just gathering data. You’re learning what doesn’t work so you can get closer to what does.
So here’s what I recommend: don’t treat these books like step-by-step guides. Instead, treat them like possibility catalogs. Take what resonates. Try things on. Leave what doesn’t fit.
Keep going until you build something that works for you.
Because change is possible. For them. And for you.
You deserve joy. You deserve purpose. You deserve mornings that feel good and nights that feel peaceful. You deserve to feel alive and hopeful about your own life.
You’re allowed to say, “This isn’t good enough yet,” and then do something about it.
That’s the magic of this life.
It’s never too late. You just have to take that first step.
If this resonated, forward it to someone who’s feeling stuck.
Or hit reply and tell me:
📚 What’s one “strategy” you’ve tried that didn’t work for you?
🌱 And what’s something that has helped — even just a little?
You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just doing it your way.
